Deliverance - Part2
Monday, November 16, 2009
Anne wiped her tears when she reached the gate. She had walked home; she needed to, even though she felt too tired…
But now she was back – to her refuge, her Jesus. She walked straight past Mammy to her room where Jesus waited. She bowed her head to seek peace, guidance. A few candles were still lit on the shelf where the image of Jesus lay – these were the only source of illumination in the room. The shelf was scarred with markings of the hundreds of candles Anna lit. The walls were bare and the furniture, minimal. She glared at the bed in sudden rage. This is where they made her tainted, dirty. Her ‘uncles’. Hah!
Looking back, Anna realized she had been barely ten, when they started arriving. She was used to doing all the chores at home by that time so mammy wouldn’t have to, after she came home from work. No matter how well she scrubbed the floor, or did the dishes, Anne got a thrashing for one thing or another, nonetheless. Anything to please Mammy, she thought. But mammy never was. ‘Obviously her sole, meager income proved to be too less for her’ thought Anna. ‘That’s when Mammy must have decided not to live in poverty, when she had a daughter to live off by.’
‘That’s when my childhood ended.’
Tears streamed down her face as she thought of the nights she dreaded coming home. The giant drunks, the druggists, all came one night after another. She pleaded, squirmed and shouted. She cried. She begged. But they laughed. Years after years. Now all the housework and Jesus became her refuge. She waited for salvation, but she had become dirty, she knew. Between the days of household chores and those nights… she dropped out of school. How could she go anyway?
Then one day there were three of them. She boiled over. All her hidden courage came to surface and she took her stand – to make mommy understand. It was not possible any longer for her to keep quite. She was so angry…. Then something terrible happened. She had had to live away from Mammy - it was a dark period; she dismissed it, not wanting to think about it. Yes, it took time, but Mammy understood now. “You understood Mammy, didn’t you?” Anna asked loudly.
So Anna did the only thing for her Mammy’s needs that she could. She took up a housekeeping job in a hotel. All was going well until … Anna suddenly got up and went outside to the sitting area to look her Mammy up. Mammy hadn’t replied to her, neither had she made a sound. She saw her Mammy still sitting in the chair she knit in.
“Why aren’t you answering Mammy? See your precious bread winner is back!” Mammy didn’t look up. “So I am late, I know. Look at me!” she screamed. “Oh! You hate me don’t you? You know what I hate? I hate people like you who.... don’t understand… who just …”
Anna took the knife from the fruit bowl and plunged it into mammy. Once… twice… thrice…
‘Please make her understand, Jesus. Please…’ she kept saying to herself.
-To be continued…
